Welcome, fellow members of the Quality of Life Therapy and Coaching Academy, to a place to share observations and questions.
Today we talked about activities that can increase satisfaction in the Helping area, i.e., helping others in need or helping to make your community a better place to live. One way to come up with ideas for Helping is to review one’s personal goals and values.
I particularly like the following snippets:
Helping and service to others is a major untapped source of joy, inner peace, and contentment. (p.264)
An effective helping routine tends to be small + simple + habitual
I have a good friend who was an eagle scout. He still has the boy scout service coin that his grandfather used and he uses it himself every day. He puts it in his left pocket first thing in the morning and shifts it to his right pocket when he has done a good deed for the day. He gave me one as a gift because he knew I admired it.
I have another friend who puts “Help someone” on his to-do list every morning.
The much maligned Pollyanna was an expert in this facet of life. The book, Pollyanna, might be a good text for people thinking about helping as a source of satisfaction.
The discussion ended with this quotation from Mother Theresa:
We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.
5 responses so far ↓
walterlawless // August 27, 2007 at 8:11 pm
Kathryn- “small thing with great love”-what a way to be a helper! -getting us all connected with an ongoing forum and invaluable resources-each other! with much thanks… walt
Michael B. Frisch // August 29, 2007 at 6:51 pm
You do a great honor to me and to Caroline Adams Miller in creating this blog and in contributing to it. Thank you Kathryn, you are a thoughtful, bright dynamo and a gift to this approach which is still rather “underground”. Thank you, Walt, for the idea.
Michael B. Frisch // August 29, 2007 at 7:51 pm
Caroline Adams Miller in her NPR interview on the life lists and the 100 things to do before you die, shares her personal wisdom in asserting that without goals, we are rudderless ships at the mercy of life’s flotsam and jetsam and squalls. I am reminded of Langston Hughes poem, Hold fast to dreams for without dreams, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. Or this : Hold fast to dreams for as we dream, so shall we become.
More wisdom expressed in a pithy useful way: pursue intrinsic not extrinsic goals, to me, those most dear to your heart.
To me the best goals reflect our innermost, cherished needs, goals, and wishes. They come from the heart rather than being extrinsically imposed upon us by others. Carl Rogers the great humanistic psychologist would say, conditions of worth, as in I am worthy to mom, dad, my partner or friends on the condition that I…am always successful, nurturing to others, self-effacing, or even aggressive, perfect, and on top of my game! Inner goals transcend these efforts to please others.
walt // August 30, 2007 at 7:40 am
Mike and Caroline- don’t know why this just occured to me- but was wondering how you two ever connected in the first place. Can you share that story?
walt
Michael B. Frisch // September 9, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Caroline met me at the International Positive Psychology Summit of 2006 and graciously interviewed me for her series of interviews of leaders in positive psychology for her web site. The rest is history!